Rainbows
by Lucillia
Summary: Sasuke inadvertently imitates the First Hokage when he steals the Second Hokage's scroll of prank Jutsu from Naruto, and learns a jutsu that's "Guaranteed to stop any enemy in his tracks". Upon seeing it confuse the enemy, and not seeing how it does so, he uses it again and again... Short oneshots, not in chronological order.
1. Haku

Sasuke knew that he should feel guilty about stealing the scroll that the Hokage had given to Naruto before they set out to Wave, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. He needed it to get stronger so he could kill Itachi, and therefore was more deserving of it.

Beneath a jutsu that was supposed to emit a blinding light was a jutsu that was "Guaranteed to stop any enemy in his tracks".

He practiced it several times before the battle and didn't really notice it having any effect. He had a feeling that he'd gotten it right however, since he felt something happening. Perhaps there needed to be an enemy in front of him to have some sort of effect, as it was supposed to "stop any enemy in his tracks".

On the day of the battle, Sasuke decided to pull his devastating attack out against the boy who had trapped him in the ice mirrors that oddly only reflected the boy and nothing else.

The boy suddenly stopped his attack and turned to his master.

"Zabuza-sama!" the boy yelled, getting his master's attention.

"What?" Momochi Zabuza yelled back.

"Can we please trade opponents?" the boy asked.

Kakashi and Zabuza paused in their fight to turn and look at the boy who was begging to trade opponents in the middle of a battle. Their jaws dropped slightly, not that it was really noticeable behind their masks.

"No! Now get back to your fight!" Zabuza yelled back when he finally found his voice.

"What the hell have you been teaching those kids?" Zabuza asked Kakashi as he turned away from the...spectacle.

"I didn't teach him that one!" Kakashi replied as he too turned away.

Zabuza and Kakashi got back to their fight, struggling to ignore the large rainbow that was shooting out of the Uchiha's ass.

After all, who wouldn't stop and stare if there was a rainbow shooting out of someone's ass.


	2. Madara

Naruto didn't quite know where the slightly wicked impulse had come from, perhaps the Prank Lord wasn't entirely dead, as he and most of Konoha believed. All he knew was that his mind had combined the "Frill necked lizard" and "Whack-a-mole" jutsus that this jackass who was blocking the path to Sasuke had done with Kakashi's comment that the man had the Sharingan, and the next thing he knew, he was doing something that just about everyone in the group would term "Stupid and pointless."

"Hey, um, Tobi was it?" Naruto yelled.

"Yes?" the intangible Akatsuki member asked.

"Would you like to learn a really neat and super-cool jutsu?" Naruto asked, barely holding back the foxy grin that would have given him away.

"Yes!" Tobi said excitedly, practically bouncing in glee.

"Watch closely now." Naruto said as he went through the handseals of "Sasuke's favorite jutsu", cutting off his chakra at the last instant before it could come into effect.

Tobi copied the handseals correctly on the first try, and did the jutsu perfectly.

"Why does Tobi find that sequence of handseals familiar...?" Tobi asked rhetorically as the group started laughing hysterically at the rainbow that was touching the ground behind the Akatsuki dipshit.

"That was that damnable Senju's ass rainbow jutsu!" "Tobi" yelled, his voice changing completely.

"I'm gonna kill you, you little bastard!" Uchiha Madara roared as he lunged for Naruto, his plans for turning the moon into a giant eye completely forgotten in his anger.

Fortunately for Naruto, this was one of those universes where Jiraiya had focused less on using the power of the Kyuubi and more on seals, allowing Naruto to recreate the Hiraishin after a fashion. By the time Madara reached the spot in which Naruto had been standing, Naruto was wondering what the hell he was doing in the Kazekage's bathroom until he noticed that the stick that he'd put his seal on which he'd given to Gaara - forgetting to tell him what it was in the excitement that was a result of Gaara coming back to life - had been used as an impromptu toilet roll holder.


	3. Itachi

Sasuke's heart pounded rapidly. This was it. The final showdown between him and Itachi. To begin with, Sasuke decided to pull one of his more powerful jutsu out of his arsenal. The one Orochimaru had asked him never to use around him again. The one guaranteed and proven to stop any enemy in his tracks.

If he could stall Itachi long enough, he could launch an even more devastating attack, and kill him...

Carefully switching a couple of handseals to intensify the effect, he performed the jutsu.

&!&!&

There had been times that Itachi had wished he were completely blind - such as when he had accidentally walked in on Madara when he just gotten out of the shower - and this was one of them.

The insanely bright colors and bizarre strobing effect were...unique, to say the least.

"Sasuke..." Itachi said, beginning the question that nobody had dared to ask, as they feared the answer.

"Why the hell is there a rainbow coming out of your ass?" Itachi finally finished.

"WHAT?"


	4. Orochimaru

Sasuke stared up at the woman before whom he stood paralyzed in the grip of her killing intent. He couldn't think of anything that would cause the woman to release him until he remembered the Jutsu before which the masked boy on the bridge had trembled before asking for a change in opponents due to his terror.

After somehow forcing himself to move, he focused his Chakra as he did several hand seals.

&!&!&!&

Orochimaru's eye twitched as a rainbow emerged from between the Uchiha boy's buttocks and touched down on the ground behind him.

You know what, screw this. He didn't need to see any more. He'd put his seal on the little freak now and get it done with.

Generally if a shinobi had the balls to use something like _this _on the battlefield, they had the power to back it up as well. It wasn't like he'd be pulling such stunts when he had the Uchiha boy's body anyways.


	5. Naruto

After Orochimaru had requested that he never use his most amazing jutsu that almost never failed to stop any enemy in his or her tracks again, Sasuke wondered how the one person it didn't affect had managed to stand up to its might.

Most likely, it had been because his opponent had seen it before, and therefore, he'd lost the element of surprise...

It had been at the Valley of the End. He had been tiring. He had energy for maybe one or two more jutsu. He decided to try the one jutsu that had so frightened the masked ninja in Wave and had caused Orochimaru himself to stop in his tracks, even if it was only for a moment, before he spent the last of his energy on a Chidori, as it wasn't a very Chakra intensive jutsu despite the powerful effect it had.

The only effect it had on Naruto however was to cause him to blink before jumping to attack with a yell of "That reminds me, I still need to get back at you for stealing that scroll the Old Man gave me!"


	6. Alternate Sasuke

Sasuke smirked as he looked over at the kid to whom he was teaching a "Jutsu that the Nidaime himself had invented". He really was a gullible brat at that age.

He had no idea how he'd ended up in the past, but after the Fourth Shinobi World War had ended and Madara had been defeated by a seriously pissed Kakashi who'd been enraged that he'd brought his teammate Obito back from the grave just to taunt him about how he couldn't protect his teammates, and he'd been forcefully dragged home by Naruto after the usual application of his World Famous Therapy Jutsu, a great many strange things had happened in his life, making this barely blip on his Wierdometer.

"So, this will really literally stop any enemy in his tracks?" the little Sasuke who was just about to graduate the Academy asked.

"I've used it against A-ranked, S-ranked, and Kage-ranked missing-nin, and they have all been stopped by the might of this powerful jutsu." he said, barely keeping himself from laughing his ass off at the arrogant little brat in front of him.

He deserved to be taken down a peg or two.


End file.
